How committed are you? How seriously do you take your marital vows? Are you prepared for what's ahead? Did your parents have a happy relationship? Do you have what it takes? Did you know that most couples who divorce, say they still love each other. Love is not enough. With 50% divorce rate and even higher for remarried couples, we need all the help we can get. Is this your 2nd or 3rd time around? Everybody wants their marriage to succeed and education is the key to marriage enhancement. Education greatly improves your odds.

PREPARE/ENRICH PROGRAM

     This program consists of a Personal and Relationship Evaluation designed specifically for couples at different stages in their relationship. It was developed by David H. Olson, Ph.D. and colleagues of Life Innovations, Inc. www.prepare-enrich.com. It can be taken online or in your counselor’s office and then sent to Life Innovations, Inc. to be scored. A computer printout is provided to your counselor who has been trained and certified to interpret the results and teach skill-building techniques. It is used as a tool to objectively assess personal and couple qualities that can be either strengths or growth areas in their relationship. The evaluation results are discussed over 4-6 feedback sessions in which the counselor facilitates discussion between the couple based on their inventory results.

What is unique about the inventories is they are designed for couples at different stages in the couple’s life.

• PREPARE - Pre-marital couples
• PREPARE-MC – Pre-marital couples with children
• PREPARE-CC - Cohabitating couples with or without children
• ENRICH - Married couples with or without children
• MATE – Couples over the age of 50

What relationship areas are assessed by the inventories?
The following are the 20 relationship areas assessed in each of the five Couple Inventories:

What evidence is there that the PREPARE/ENRICH Program is valid or reliable?
     An important strength of the PREPARE/ENRICH inventories is their strong psychometric properties. High levels of reliability and validity have been found making them valuable tools for research as well as clinical use. The national norms base, validity and reliability information, are listed below.

1) Seek help early. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems (and keep in mind, half of all marriages that end, do so in the first seven years). This means the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long.

2) Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.

3) Soften your "start up." Arguments first "start up" because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflict from the get-go by making a critical or contemptuous remark in a confrontational tone.

4) Accept influence. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, "Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready," and her husband replies, "My plans are set and I'm not changing them," this is a guy in a shaky marriage. A husband's ability to be persuaded by his wife (rather than vice-versa is so crucial because, research shows, women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband is able to do so as well.

5) Have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those when even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behaviors from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.

6) Learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful couples know to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completely unrelated, using humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial art Aikido, you have to yield to win); and in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way (I really appreciate and want to thank you for . . . "). If an argument gets re-heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are both calm.

7) Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and about their relationship ("We laugh a lot") as opposed negative ones ("We never have fun"). a good marriage must have a rich climate of positives. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.

by John Gottman,